Dossier, Birthdays, and Matching Grants

So...at this point in our journey, I get asked at least 2 or 3 times a day, "How is the adoption going?" I always wish I had easier answers.  I realize what most people are really asking is, "How much longer?"  Believe me, I yearn for an answer to that question more than anyone.
Unfortunately, I still don't have that answer.  However, let's celebrate the steps that are getting us closer to being there!  Our dossier has been completed!  A dossier is a legal paper representation of us, and our adoption to the Colombian government.  It was shipped to Colombia at the end of last week.  It is our hope that ICBF (Children's Services for Colombia) will have an available appointment this week to begin the process of reviewing.  Our in country representative will meet with them to start this process.  They then have up to 40 days to review our dossier.  They can then either approve or request more information from us.  (Our big prayers are a speedy review and approval without extra information).  After approval, we wait for an "Official Referral."  This will include full files on our sweet twins!  Clothing sizes, education, medical information, behavior analysis, birth family information, etc.  We will then (of course) accept the official referral.  At that time, ICBF will give us travel dates!  WooHoo!
Each one of these steps also is accompanied by fees.  Some fees go to the US government.  Some fees go to the Colombian government. Other fees go to our adoption agency.  Finally, we will also need to pay for our full travel costs.  Sounds overwhelming, right?!  However God has blessed our family immensly!  We are $2000 from being fully funded!  That is incredible!  We started this process with no idea how we would come up with $40000, but God had big plans to show how BIG and GREAT He is!

So now that you have a better idea of how the adoption is going, let me tell you about the other exciting part of our week.  Our incredible babies will turn 3 this week!  Now I'd be lying if I said the only emotion connected with that day is excitement.  This momma wants to be with them!  Like now!  So, will you bless us and our babies on their birthday?  Below are 2 birthday boards.  One for S and one for J.  For their birthday, will you sponsor a present?  You choose a square and make a donation of that amount (aka - square #3 is a $3 donation).  Your donation will be doubled by an awesome matching grant we have through Brittany's Hope!  So that sponsorship of square #3 actually gets us $6 closer to full funding!  In fact, all donations made from now until we are fully funded will be doubled!

 

Thank yall for following our journey, supporting our dreams, and praying big prayers with us!

Leap of Faith

You know, it really is amazing what God can do when you step back and let Him do it.  In every day life, I am really bad about getting in His way.  (see my last post...I really like being in control).  However, I have had less opportunity to do this in our adoption. So much of this process is completely out of my hands so it has been a whole new world of surrendering control.

This has been especially true when it has come to finances.  Tyler and I jumped into adoption with no set idea of how we were going to afford it.  When everything is said and done, our total cost will be about $40,000.  Needless to say, that was not something we had saved up.  However, we felt strongly that adoption was how God was calling us to grow our family.  So we took the leap of faith.

I am excited to say we found out this morning we will be receiving another grant.  This one is a little different than the others we have been given.  It is called a matching grant.  This means any fundraising we do or donations we receive will be matched by the grant organization, Brittany's Hope.

Now here is where it really gets good!  We could be eligible to have up to $5000 matched.  If we are able to meet that goal and have it matched, we will be fully funded!  From nothing to $40000 in under 2 years!  It would mean we would not have to take out any loans in order to bring home our twins!  

With that in mind, we do still have a few continuing fundraisers going on.  We have tshirts.  In honor of this awesome opportunity, we are reducing those to $10 each.  Sizes are limited, so get them quick!

We have puzzle pieces!  For $5 you can sponsor a puzzle piece.  We will add your name to the back of the piece.  We will put it together and it will be hung on the wall in the twins room.  Throughout  their lifetime, the twins will be able to see all the people who were a part of bringing them home.

We also know some of you still have our change jars.  These have been a really cool project for us.  All the coins that have come into our house this year, have gone to bring our children home.  Others of you have partnered with us in this.  We are so blessed that you have allowed your change to bring life change for our family!

Finally our PayPal account is still set up to receive donations.  If you choose sending money to friends and family, we are able to accept the donation without charges.
We would be honored if you would partner with us in this leg of our journey.  We are committed to do whatever it takes to bring our children home, but we would absolutely love to do so without loans.

Have you ever considered adoption and said, "I can't afford that"?  Me too.  But if God is calling you to it, He will provide for the journey.  It may not look the same as it has for us, but I'd love to tell you more about what has worked for us.

We just got a letter...

Does anyone remember that little jingle from Blues Clues?  Every time the mail came it was super exciting.  I remember mail being like this as a child, too.  I would get the mail with my Mom after getting off the bus.  Our dog had even been trained to carry the stack to the house.
As I got older, mail got a whole lot less exciting.  Usually a trip to the mail box means bills, catalogs, and junk I don't care about.  This was not the case yesterday.  When I got home, Tyler had already gotten the mail.  It was stacked in the kitchen.  I started with packages because they are typically more fun, and he had sent me a text about them earlier.  Package number one - cloth diapers!  I ordered these about a month ago so I was happy to open them and see such great colors and quality.  Package number two - the amazing video monitor system my parents ordered for us for the twins room!  We debated whether this investment would be worth while, but after talking to a few moms, we decided it was worth it (and they got a great deal).
I thought this was the end of all the fun.  Then Tyler said, "Oh and we got a letter from Homeland Security."  In a normal situation this would probably not be good.  I knew it would go one of two ways.  They could be requesting more information for our file...but that wasn't the case.
WE HAVE BEEN APPROVED!  (By Immigration in the US).
So the ominous question is...what's next?  Well the easy answer is: our dossier.  But most of you have no idea what that means.  So...a dossier is a file that will contain about 50 pages give or take.  It is a representation of who we are, why we want to adopt, and why we are qualified to do so.  It has lots of legal forms, our completed homestudy, reference letters, and even pictures of both us and our home.  This file all has to be notarized, certified, and apostilled.  So if any one is wondering what I am doing with my free time, read that paragraph again.
When that is done, we will get our official referral file.  That will include more information regarding their background, current foster home, medical files, and sizes.  We are patiently (or impatiently depending on the day) awaiting this information.  After this we will be given our travel dates.  Please pray that we can travel in February.  We very much want to celebrate the twins birthday with them.  We are on track for that to be a possibility.
On a practical level, we also have had a great week!  I found some incredible black friday deals on car seats!  We saved a few hundred dollars.  Additionally we got a good deal on a luggage set.  I have also connected with a mom who has out grown the sizes we need.  Being able to purchase gently used clothing in great condition has been a huge blessing!  We believe all our major physical needs for the kids have been met.  I am sure things will come up once they are home, but we feel physically ready to bring them home.
This also means all our extra funds can be spent paying off debt and paying adoption related costs.  We are one-third of the way to being fully funded.  We feel incredibly blessed to be part of this journey and see the ways God is providing.  Please pray along with us that he will continue to provide in whatever ways He sees fit.  I have filled out many grant applications and would love to see some of those to provide for the next part of our journey.
Please also pray that God continues to prepare hearts.  You never reach adoption without loss.  Pray for the hearts of our children's birth family.  Pray for their foster family and community.  Pray for our family.  Pray for Tyler and I as we prepare for big changes.  Pray for our community as they wrap around us during this transition.  Pray for our twins.  Hope is coming, even if they don't know it yet.

Big Questions: Why fundraise?

Over the next few weeks, I am going to attempt to tackle some of the "big" questions we are asked often.  Some of these are important.  Some are difficult.  Some are painful. Tonight I am going to start with the one we probably get asked most often...
Why do you fundraise?
Yep.  Many people are afraid to ask us this question directly.  But, they ask our friends and family.  Occasionally they will ask us.  "Why do you fundraise?" is actually one of my favorite questions.  This is because it is something we thought a lot about before ever doing it.
First off, the big easy reason for us fundraising is adoption is expensive!  Seriously.  It will cost between $35000 and $40000 by the time we bring our twins home and they are legally our children.  For those who are wondering, no that doesn't include all their "stuff."  We will still need clothes, toys, diapers, etc.
Adoption is expensive.  But so is buying a car and you don't see people doing fundraisers for that (usually...gofundme has prompted some weird things). Our desire to fundraise was not motivated solely by the expense, but by our desire to share our passion and our story.  As we have walked through this process, it has been our desire to share our story, to spread awareness, and maybe inspire someone else to jump in to their own journey to a child waiting for a family.
We have tried to be intentional about this desire as have done each fundraising endeavor.  For example - our adoption tshirts.

They say "HOPE It changes everything"  We love this.  It is not inherently about adoption.  It is designed to start conversations.  It brings you into our story.  A close friend and member of our tribe got to have a conversation just this week while wearing her Hope shirt.  She got to share adoption, our story, and God's great provision with someone I may never meet.  

Yes, every dollar raised brings us closer to bringing our sweet twins home.  However, it is our desire that it also means awareness and advocacy.  We strive to be intentional.  It would be our greatest joy if some piece of our fundraising efforts not only brought our children home, but led to another child finding a home.  

Thank you to all who have partnered with us thus far.  You are changing our lives.  You are changing our family.  You are providing immeasurable hope to sweet little twins whose hope was dwindling.  

A quick update on all things adoption in our world.  Our immigration paperwork was sent last week.  I received text notification about 30 minutes ago that our file was received (Isn't technology cool?).  Once this is approved, we will submit our dossier. We have been working to submit grant applications for the last two weeks.  Hopefully this will help provide financially.  We have completed baby registries (as many of you requested) with Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby, and Target.  And we continue to fundraise...because we still need about $20000 to bring our children home.  Pray with us as we continue walking this journey.

Confessions

I love hard and fast.
I try to guard my heart but so far I'm pretty unsuccessful.
I am a little bit of a control freak...ok maybe a little bit is a lie.
I live in a society of instant gratification.
I am prone to being anxious.
I am bad at waiting.
I compulsively check emails/mailboxes/etc when I'm waiting on something.

These things have made the last week a difficult one.  Adoption means losing control.  It means rushing to finish your part of a step only to wait for someone else's part.  It means waiting for unknown periods of time for things that are REALLY important.  Adoption means love.

But I'm learning there are a few other things that are important during this time too.

I serve a huge God.
He has a great plan.
He won't leave me.
He won't leave my children.
He has surrounded us with a great support system.
I love big because that is who He created me to be.
He ultimately is in control.
He knows better than I do.

This week has been hard, but He has been with me.  My support system is rocking it.  Our prayer team has been lifting us up.  I'm still bad at waiting, but God is using the waiting to strengthen me, prepare me, and teach me.
Pray with us as we wait.  Hopefully we will have more to share with you soon!

The hardest prayer

In the past six months, I have spent hours reading through profiles on the waiting children portal provided by our agency.  We have read through profiles from Africa, America, and Colombia.  Tons of faces of children who are waiting for a family.

So often I wonder, how do I choose?  How do we look at these children and say "This one is mine."  It has to be a God thing.  Like so many parts of this whole process, it has to be a God thing.  As I have poured over each and every profile, again and again I have been faced with a big, difficult prayer.

Dear God,
Please provide a family for this child, even if it isn't mine.

It may possibly be the hardest prayer I have ever prayed.  God is shaping and molding me in this waiting time in ways I never imagined.  Today will you join me in that prayer?  There are millions of orphans around the world.  God please provide a family for this child...for every child.

Easter and this "God thing"

Wow.  Easter.  Easter means HOPE!  Jesus is alive!  Oh what joy!  That single phrase has completely changed my life.  It has given me hope and joy and it led me to adoption.  I so often struggle with the thought of how people walk through adoption without faith.  A dear friend who is adopting her own little girl said, "I am not sure people adopt otherwise.  Seems like a God thing to me."  The closer we get to our kids, the more truth I see in this "God thing."

Throughout the day today, I could not help but think that this may very well be the last Easter we spend as a family of two.  I mean that has always been the goal, but the reality is overwhelming in some moments.  For so long, adoption has been a vision, a dream, a passion but now it is becoming a reality.  

How incredible that in a year, we will get to share this incredible day with our children (hopefully...nothing about an adoption timeline is certain except uncertainty).  Jesus is no longer dead but he rose.  He lives.  And because He lives, I also get to live.  Not only that, but I get to share that with my children!

As a children's ministry director, I got to share this wonderful news with hundreds of children.  I was also a big supporter of the idea that parents are the best and most important teachers of everything, but most importantly of the Bible.  Now the idea of being given that responsibility is exciting and overwhelming.  How amazing that God has entrusted me with such a responsibility.  

What a beautiful "God thing" this adoption journey is...parenting...sharing God's love.  Today, being Easter makes me even more aware of that.  Hope changes everything.  Hope is changing everything.

Photo credit: Matthew Davidson Photography

www.matthewdavidsonphotography.com 

Hope. Trust. Control.

So I feel like I have been on a roller coaster since the last time I wrote.  Almost a month ago we came to you with an update, but more than that we were asking for prayer.  We needed you to support us and lift us up because like so many parts of this journey, we can not do it alone.  I know people all across the country have been praying for us.  A handful of you have been stuck dealing with all of my emotions...you are angels.  A few of you have been the ear we needed.  We talked through every step from one extreme to another.  All of those things led us to make a big decision...Colombia.  We are doing it!
I have heard for years, "write your plans in pencil, then give God the eraser."  Many times I have hated that statement.  I thought, "why didn't you let God write the plans to begin with?"  Yet, I am learning sometimes you think God is writing the plans...and maybe he is, but then there is a U-turn in the middle of the plans.
This change in plans means a little more waiting...and boy do I hate waiting.  I am absolutely terrible at it.  I whine a lot (sorry Tyler).  I get impatient.  And ultimately I have to let God be in control.  I am a control freak through and through.  It is part of who I am and has been for a long time.  So why did we choose adoption?  Well, I don't think we chose adoption.  I think adoption chose us...God chose us.  Because of that, I must let Him have control.
So He has led us to Colombia.  Due to the circumstances related to the country just now being an option for us, they have a lot of waiting children.  Many of these children are sibling groups, which is where our heart lies.  As much as I hate waiting, I know it hurts each of those children even more.  So as long as they wait...as long as there are children in need of homes, in need of families, we will wait. We will allow God to be in control and trust that He knows exactly what He is doing.  Because with God comes hope...and hope changes everything.

My story...

I was driving home quite late a few nights ago.  I had KLove on my radio.  Big Daddy Weave's new song My Story came on.  If you have not listened to it, please go do that.  The lyrics just really hit home.
If I told you my story, You would hear hope, that wouldn't let go and if I told you my story, you would hear Love that never gave up and if I told you my story, you would hear Life, but it wasn't mine If I should speak, then let it be of the grace that is Greater than all my sin If I should speak let it be of the grace that is Greater than all my sin of when justice was served, and where mercy wins! of the kindness of Jesus, that draws me in o to tell you my story, is to tell of Him If I told you my story, you would hear victory over the enemy and if I told you my story, you would hear freedom that was won for me and if I told you my story, you would hear Life Overcome the grave This is my prayer.  For my life.  For our adoption.  For the lives of our children.  No matter what may our story just be a piece in God's greater story.  May it point to Him.  May it show how Great He is!  This is my story...

David, Goliath, and a season of waiting

It has been a while since I've written here.  I think I did not write for so long because sometimes letting other people into your heart is hard...especially when your heart is hurting.  I have finally realized that I don't just write here for everyone who reads this.  I write for me and I write for our future children.  I want them to see the process someday if they so choose.

I did not write because we are in a period of waiting.  Waiting is hard.  Sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes there are tears.  For me, there is  primarily a feeling of helplessness.  It drives me insane.  I want to do something.  I want to change something.  I want to move forward.

Not long ago our friend Melissa C shared on her blog (http://adoptajourney.blogspot.com/2015/07/revolving-door.html) this excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest
God gives us a vision and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us in the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that many of us give up and faint.  Every God-given vision will become real if we have patience. It is in the valley that God has to put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision.  Ever since God gave the vision, He has been at work.  Over and over we try to escape from the Sculptor's hand in an effort to batter ourselves into our own shape.  Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Don't lose heart, you will turn out as an exact likeness of that vision. 

Melissa C and her husband are further ahead on the adoption journey than we are.  Their blessing came in the form of a newborn girl just a few months ago.  Melissa's continued honesty and rawness remind me that God has not left me in the waiting.  However, I was still struggling so God continued to pursue me.

Last week during our connection group, we were discussing David and Goliath.  Melissa F looked at me and asked, "What giants do you have in your life? And how are you relying on God through it?"  I love our connection group because I can be real with them.  In this stage of life, adoption...every part of the process...is a giant in my life.  Some days I am fully relying on God, that He has chosen a child, and timing, and the agency and He will open those doors as He sees fit.  Other days I go back to wanting to do something, change something, or just move forward.  I am not allowing myself to be like David.  David was small and weak.  He could not have defeated Goliath by himself.  I am small and weak.  I can not weather the adoption journey by myself.  I serve a big God who chose David so God's strength would show through.  I am choosing to trust that strength.

So today we are still in a season of waiting.  It will be a little bit longer until we can move forward with our homestudy.  Inside that is really hard for me to say.  We are not where I imagined we would be at this point.  However, God is reminding me that He has not left us and He is not finished with our story.

I am working through some support and update letters.  If you would like one, please send me your address.  I am also continuing to write thank yous.  I am terrible at doing so but I promise they are coming and your generosity and your prayers are appreciated more than you may know.  We are continuing to do the envelope project.  And most importantly we are continuing to pray and to trust.  God is good and He is with us through all of it.

Celebrating others in this Journey

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to celebrate another family in the journey.  I began working with Melissa and Sully when I was in college while we were all serving at the same church plant.  They have beautiful hearts.  Their journey has looked very different from ours.  They have been walking a path of domestic infant adoption for a few years.  They have struggled in the waiting and rejoiced in the details.  They have had their hearts broken and prayed A LOT!
Today we want to celebrate with them.  Their daughter has been born!

Dear Emily,
We pray that you might know how much you are loved, chosen, and wanted.  God has been guiding your path long before you were even born.  We pray that you might see God's love every day.  We pray that you will grow to be healthy and strong.  We pray that your days be filled with joy and your path be smooth and when they are not, we pray that you turn to your Father for help.  We pray that you always know the sound of your Father's voice, the comfort in His arms, and the joy of His truth.  May the Lord bless you and keep you.  May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you his peace.
Amen

If you want to know more about Melissa and Sully's journey you can find their blog at http://adoptajourney.blogspot.com/

We love you Cook Family!

Envelopes on my dining room floor

We've been approved!  Our preliminary application for Ethiopia was approved and we are beyond excited.  Some pieces of this process seem incredibly overwhelming but in the past I have found that God delights in doing the impossible.

Because of this there are 150 envelopes on our dining room floor.

Some of you are wondering what this could possibly have to do with adoption, Ethiopia, or bringing our children home.  So allow me to explain.  Each of the envelopes has a number for 1-150.  We are asking you to partner with us by choosing an envelope.  You then place the corresponding amount of money in the envelope.  For example envelope 7=$7.  You can get an envelope by contacting me or Tyler, commenting here on the blog, or leaving a comment on facebook.

If all of the envelopes are returned it would cover all of our agency expenses and one third of our total fees.  So again we invite you to be a part of our village.  Help us take the next step in bringing our children home.

Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.  They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.  It is easier to pretend they are not real before you hold them in your arms.  But once you do, everything changes. -David Platt

Now what?

I have been sitting here for at least 30 minutes trying to decide what exactly to write here.  In the end I've decided to just be open and honest.

Yesterday afternoon after sharing coffee with a dear friend, I decided to stop at Bethany Christian Services local office.  Tyler and I have been pretty sure we want to use Bethany for our adoption, however I had a few things I needed clarified first.  What better way to do that than just stop in, right? (This is one of the things I love about Bethany having an office right here in Knoxville!)
I came into the office, waited a few minutes and then was able to sit down with the international adoption specialist.  She was warm and friendly and ready to answer my questions.

So here is what I learned:
1. We can start most of the process and paperwork now!  Woohoo...this means less time between right now and when our children will be here with us!
2. We need to fundraise immediately (more details coming soon on our first major plan)
3.  We may need to make some changes to our plan.

In reference to number 3 - God laid Ethiopia on our hearts a while ago.  It has sort of been the plan since Tyler and I first confirmed that this was the path we would go.  We had also felt that we did not want children any older than 7 solely because so much can happen developmentally before that point.  However, due to referrals coming out of Ethiopia, Bethany is not accepting new families to adopt from Ethiopia unless they are willing to adopt over the age of 7.
This initial statement rocked my world.  Now what?  What about this plan we had?  So our options are to choose a different country or extend our age range.  So I'm asking you to pray.  Let it be abundantly clear what our path should be.  Also pray as we prepare to take our next steps - formal application, homestudy, and fundraising!  We are excited about this journey and excited to have you continue to partner with us.

Spirit lead me where your trust is without borders...

Thankfulness: Our Journey and Our Village

It is the beginning of November, traditionally a season of thankfulness.  It seemed like a perfect time to talk about our journey and our village.  However, if you are new to our story let's get you caught up.
As a teenager I was exposed to adoption in my church and my youth group.  I was also exposed to the stories of children all over the world.  This started a spark inside me.  At that time I had no idea how it would grow.  However, it is clear now that this was all part of God's plan.  He started to build our village.
I met Tyler in 2011, just a few weeks after graduating college while we were both working at Sonic.  There was always a chemistry between us, but neither of us said anything.  I accepted a job in Ohio in early 2012 and soon moved.  When back in Tennessee on vacation almost a year later, Tyler revealed his feelings for me and soon after we began dating.  By this point I knew I was being called to adopt so we discussed this very early in our relationship.  God continued to write our story as we agreed that we would begin growing our family through adoption.  We got married in August 2014 and we are excited about the growth of our family.
We plan to adopt.  We are very interested in adopting from Ethiopia.  We also think we will probably pursue this through Bethany Christian Services.  So that is the beginning of our journey.
Now more about our village.  They say that it takes a village to raise a child.  Our children are on the other side of the world and I am already finding this to be true.  Starting with their birth family, then who is raising them now whether that be another family member or an orphanage.  I continually pray for this group.  They are beginning to shape who my children will be.  I am glad God has chosen them and thankful for all they continue to do.
Then there are the people who will be a part of the process.  The staff at the adoption agency.  The people in country who handle paperwork.  The person who will do our homestudy.  They are part of our village.  They are essential in bringing our children home.
Our family and friends...you make up a large part of our village.  You stand beside us and support us.  I'm sure I will call more than one of you in tears during various parts of our journey.  I also know you will share in our joys and be a part of our children's lives for years to come.
There is also another continually growing group of people who are part of our village.  These are the people in our lives who have adopted, are in the process of adopting, or desire to adopt in the future.  These people understand the journey on a different level.  All of our stories are unique but they all intertwine.  These are the ones we will turn to for the tips and tricks.  They are the a continual encouragement and a reminder that we are not alone.
And finally, there is you.  We are inviting you to be a part of our village.  This will look different for each person.  Some of you will pray for us (and our children and the rest of our village).  Some of you will support us financially.  Some of you will support us emotionally.  Some of you will support us in ways we didn't even know we would need or want.  Is God calling you to be a part of our village?  We would love to share more with you about God is doing in our lives.