Christmas Eve has always been a little emotional for me. I remember year after year sitting in service surrounded by families...because let's be honest, those are my people. I would ask God "Why not me?" "When will it be my turn?"
Since I was young, my greatest desire was to be a mother. I knew God would follow through and give me the desires of my heart but the waiting. The waiting was rough. I do not remember a Christmas service in recent years that didn't involve tears and maybe even a little questioning of my purpose.
But this year was different. This year during Christmas Eve service we had so many new things to celebrate. Our church met in a new theater that is more wheelchair accessible. Our sin could actually choose where he wanted to sit! Our daughter got to dance with her Poppi and sing about Jesus. I got to hold our son and praise a great God who does follow through on His promises.
Tonight we opened gifts. J & S had a great time. Their individual personalities are starting to show more and more. They were more than spoiled but mostly they know they are loved.
Would you take a moment as you read this little piece of our story and pray for their first mom? Wherever she may be, we wish her peace. She gave us our greatest gifts and we cherish them more than I think she could ever know.
May your Christmas be blessed by a God who fulfills his promises...often in the form of a child.
Monday, December 25, 2017
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
1 page & 2 pictures
A little over a year ago, while I was at work, I received an e-mail from our global agent T Bethany. She said she had a profile on two year old twins and asked if we were interested in reviewing it. I remember it being such a bittersweet moment. Just a few weeks before we had submitted a letter of intent on two boys. We had read and considered and prayed about these boys. When another letter of intent was accepted just a few hours before ours we felt hurt and even a little betrayed.
But this...we wanted children under age 5 And twins! I hurried to reply that we were interested. We received a one page summary...barely a page at that and 2 photos. By the time my husband got home, I think I had read that page a hundred times. I had researched big words I didn't know like Chiari malformation. I was ready. I knew in my heart these were out kids. It didn't take long before he agreed. So late that night, we wrote another letter of intent. And prayed.
I remember clear as day the agency coming to us and saying, we want to be very clear that he may never walk. Now I believe in a great big God. I know He is capable of all things. I also know there are things far worse than never walking.
Last weekend the little boy I wrote that letter about, received his first wheelchair.
He is so excited! He has freedom and mobility! Do I think he will never walk? I don't know. As any parent does, I hope and pray great, big things for him. Some days, walking is one of those.
But lately, I have spent more time praying God will show me how to navigate this world as a special needs parent. That I may learn how to best advocate for my son. I have been praying he might help me understand the vast world of Spina bifida. And I've been praying that my care and concern for my son with special needs may not overshadow my care and concern for his amazing sister.
There were so many things we did not and could not have known the day we received that short summary and photos. My son and daughter and both amazing, incredible, unique people. They are growing and developing and exceeding people's expectations. However, I am still confident that there are worse things...much worse things than never walking.
But this...we wanted children under age 5 And twins! I hurried to reply that we were interested. We received a one page summary...barely a page at that and 2 photos. By the time my husband got home, I think I had read that page a hundred times. I had researched big words I didn't know like Chiari malformation. I was ready. I knew in my heart these were out kids. It didn't take long before he agreed. So late that night, we wrote another letter of intent. And prayed.
I remember clear as day the agency coming to us and saying, we want to be very clear that he may never walk. Now I believe in a great big God. I know He is capable of all things. I also know there are things far worse than never walking.
Last weekend the little boy I wrote that letter about, received his first wheelchair.
But lately, I have spent more time praying God will show me how to navigate this world as a special needs parent. That I may learn how to best advocate for my son. I have been praying he might help me understand the vast world of Spina bifida. And I've been praying that my care and concern for my son with special needs may not overshadow my care and concern for his amazing sister.
There were so many things we did not and could not have known the day we received that short summary and photos. My son and daughter and both amazing, incredible, unique people. They are growing and developing and exceeding people's expectations. However, I am still confident that there are worse things...much worse things than never walking.
Monday, October 9, 2017
Home
We have been home 7 weeks as of Saturday. What a whirlwind those seven weeks have been. We met our son and daughter 3 weeks before that. Jhohan and Sofia are adjusting very well, possibly better than expected. They are attending preschool at Two by Two, which they love. They have amazing teachers who have become active members of our village. They also love going to The Point on Sunday mornings and often joining Mommy at small group on Thursday nights.
Sofia is a morning person. (I am not!). She rises early, ready to tackle the day. She has big emotions always and she is very stubborn.
Jhohan is a people lover and very go with the flow. He is up for facing whatever comes his way. He is very compassionate and empathetic.
They both love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Paw Patrol, trying new foods, and snuggles. They both hate when Mommy or Poppy have to go to work and bedtime.
Every single day we discover new things about them. They let us into their little hearts and minds more and more. They try new foods and new activities. They tell us more of their story...some good and some painful. Each one shaping them into who they are and who they will be. We feel so blessed to a part of that story, even when it is hard.
I could sit here and tell you all about how great and perfect every thing is, but I don't think it would do either of us any good. You see adoption isn't perfect. It is messy. It is hard. It is painful. But oh is it worth it. In the last 24 hours, I held my terrified son each time as he fell back to sleep after night terrors. I cleaned up my house as my husband cleaned up our daughter after an accident. I worked both my jobs, picked my kids up from preschool, and came home to make dinner. While feeding my kids one of them projectile vomited on me because they tried to eat too much, too fast. Now, I am eating my dinner while writing and waiting for my husband's work shift to be over. These days aren't easy, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Here are just a few pictures of our family. Life isn't perfect, but I praise God that it is mine!
Sofia is a morning person. (I am not!). She rises early, ready to tackle the day. She has big emotions always and she is very stubborn.
Jhohan is a people lover and very go with the flow. He is up for facing whatever comes his way. He is very compassionate and empathetic.
They both love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Paw Patrol, trying new foods, and snuggles. They both hate when Mommy or Poppy have to go to work and bedtime.
Every single day we discover new things about them. They let us into their little hearts and minds more and more. They try new foods and new activities. They tell us more of their story...some good and some painful. Each one shaping them into who they are and who they will be. We feel so blessed to a part of that story, even when it is hard.
I could sit here and tell you all about how great and perfect every thing is, but I don't think it would do either of us any good. You see adoption isn't perfect. It is messy. It is hard. It is painful. But oh is it worth it. In the last 24 hours, I held my terrified son each time as he fell back to sleep after night terrors. I cleaned up my house as my husband cleaned up our daughter after an accident. I worked both my jobs, picked my kids up from preschool, and came home to make dinner. While feeding my kids one of them projectile vomited on me because they tried to eat too much, too fast. Now, I am eating my dinner while writing and waiting for my husband's work shift to be over. These days aren't easy, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Here are just a few pictures of our family. Life isn't perfect, but I praise God that it is mine!
Saturday, August 5, 2017
Day 7-9 - Adjusting
I would like to be able to write every night but I am quickly finding that is not a possibility. So I will try to recap a few days at a time.
Day 7 - We spent most of the day out and about with the kids. Our goal is to bond as much as we can with the kids. This is a HUGE transition for them. We went to parque (the park) which seems to be their favorite. S loves the swings! J is a big fan of climbing on everything he possibly can.
We were picked up in the afternoon by one of our hired drivers. Off to the embassy doctor for TB test recheck. This was the first glimpse of how the kids are bonding. S was not interested in our legal rep at all. While in the moment that seems sad, it is a big hurdle for us. It means she is finding comfort in us instead of other people.
This is also the night we gained new house guests. While it means the house is not as calm and quiet. But for my sale it is adult conversation in English. And many of them are adoptive parents so they get it.
Day 8 - We were up very early for another doctor's appointment. Traffic was especially bad because it was raining. After the doctor we went to the notary to complete some more paperwork.
S & J discovered the back yard at the guest house. They both love the ride on car that is here. We are finding S is quite the soccer player. Overall they just prefer to be outside. A few more years throughout the day but we are working through it. We also learned that if a nap happens, either both need to nap or not. S went to bed as expected around 6:30. J took a nap mid day and was up for an extra 2+ hours because of it.
Day 9 - Our kids are naturally early risers. Today they slept in aka 6:30 am. So we got up and they had breakfast. Then we headed to the frutera (aka fruit store). So much of the fruit here is foreign to us so we let them pick out whatever they wanted. I'm afraid they are going to be very disappointed by mangoes in the US. On the way back we stopped by a bread store, getting some cheese bread, cookies, and empanadas. So we had second breakfast since the empanadas were fresh and hot. We attempted a nap but I think Pappi may be the only one who slept at all. Down stairs for lunch and then more play time. The kids love the mission team - and love being the center of attention. We are all still figuring each other out.
Tyler realized this afternoon that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and drained. J needed some smaller pants so Tyler let me go to the store by myself. It was a difficult time for him (the mission team helped too) but it was exactly what I needed. Some time to clear my head, re charge, and grab some coffee! I love that he knows what I need. So thankful We are on this journey together.
We have had some really difficult moments. We have also had some really great ones. As the days go on we keep loving on and praying for our little ones.
On a more personal side - Tyler is still not feeling 100%. It makes it more draining to parent well when you're sick. Please keep praying for him.
*Find your tribe. Love them well*
Day 7 - We spent most of the day out and about with the kids. Our goal is to bond as much as we can with the kids. This is a HUGE transition for them. We went to parque (the park) which seems to be their favorite. S loves the swings! J is a big fan of climbing on everything he possibly can.
We were picked up in the afternoon by one of our hired drivers. Off to the embassy doctor for TB test recheck. This was the first glimpse of how the kids are bonding. S was not interested in our legal rep at all. While in the moment that seems sad, it is a big hurdle for us. It means she is finding comfort in us instead of other people.
This is also the night we gained new house guests. While it means the house is not as calm and quiet. But for my sale it is adult conversation in English. And many of them are adoptive parents so they get it.
Day 8 - We were up very early for another doctor's appointment. Traffic was especially bad because it was raining. After the doctor we went to the notary to complete some more paperwork.
S & J discovered the back yard at the guest house. They both love the ride on car that is here. We are finding S is quite the soccer player. Overall they just prefer to be outside. A few more years throughout the day but we are working through it. We also learned that if a nap happens, either both need to nap or not. S went to bed as expected around 6:30. J took a nap mid day and was up for an extra 2+ hours because of it.
Day 9 - Our kids are naturally early risers. Today they slept in aka 6:30 am. So we got up and they had breakfast. Then we headed to the frutera (aka fruit store). So much of the fruit here is foreign to us so we let them pick out whatever they wanted. I'm afraid they are going to be very disappointed by mangoes in the US. On the way back we stopped by a bread store, getting some cheese bread, cookies, and empanadas. So we had second breakfast since the empanadas were fresh and hot. We attempted a nap but I think Pappi may be the only one who slept at all. Down stairs for lunch and then more play time. The kids love the mission team - and love being the center of attention. We are all still figuring each other out.
Tyler realized this afternoon that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and drained. J needed some smaller pants so Tyler let me go to the store by myself. It was a difficult time for him (the mission team helped too) but it was exactly what I needed. Some time to clear my head, re charge, and grab some coffee! I love that he knows what I need. So thankful We are on this journey together.
We have had some really difficult moments. We have also had some really great ones. As the days go on we keep loving on and praying for our little ones.
On a more personal side - Tyler is still not feeling 100%. It makes it more draining to parent well when you're sick. Please keep praying for him.
*Find your tribe. Love them well*
Thursday, August 3, 2017
Day 6 - The part where everything changes
Amazingly Tyler and I both slept through the night on Tuesday. I think God knew we would need our rest. Up at 5:45 for showers and last minute preparations before our driver came. Nelson was our driver again. We like him a lot and rumor has it, he is the only driver in Bogota who is early.
We then headed to ICBF. We were early and anxiously awaiting in the parking lot for what seemed like forever. We were finally permitted to enter. We were escorted to a room decorated with lots of Mickey party supplies. (Which was great since they both love Mickey)
We met with the secretary of the committee, the ICBF psychologist, and the nutritionist. We were given a full update on the twins. They have continued to advance even more than we expected. It is really incredible. We were given an incredible gift from their foster mother. Each child has a notebook of every appointment, soothing method, etc; a book of all their favorite things; and a baby book filled with pictures from the last 3 years! This is amazing and something many adoptive families do not ever receive.
Next up was meeting time. I don't even know how to put those moments into words. These little ones we have been waiting for, praying for, and loving from afar were suddenly in front of us. We played with the things in the room as well as the new gifts we brought them. A few different people took pictures and videos. It was incredible.
Leaving ICBF was a little more difficult but we made it. S & J were blessed to be in a great foster home for the past 3 years. We could not be more thankful. However our little ones miss them and are sad to leave them. Those are big emotions for little ones to work through.
After we got back to the guesthouse, everyone was struggling a bit and hungry! So J went in Mommy's Lille and S went in Mommy's and off to Titan Plaza. We got pollo and papas fritas for lunch. Then off for new shoes (neither had tennis shoes) and some things to play with. We decided we loved the escalators and rose those a few extra times before going home.
They were asleep by 6:30 and slept for a full 12 hours! (Mommy did not...waking often to check on them)
Please continue to pray for bonding as well as the adoption process itself.
Pray for Tyler. He has not been feeling well and the altitude is a struggle.
Pray for us to be able to help our little ones navigate big emotions.
Thank you. Y'all give us strength.
Ps - I have no idea why the font is 2 different sizes and I can't fix it
We then headed to ICBF. We were early and anxiously awaiting in the parking lot for what seemed like forever. We were finally permitted to enter. We were escorted to a room decorated with lots of Mickey party supplies. (Which was great since they both love Mickey)
We met with the secretary of the committee, the ICBF psychologist, and the nutritionist. We were given a full update on the twins. They have continued to advance even more than we expected. It is really incredible. We were given an incredible gift from their foster mother. Each child has a notebook of every appointment, soothing method, etc; a book of all their favorite things; and a baby book filled with pictures from the last 3 years! This is amazing and something many adoptive families do not ever receive.
Next up was meeting time. I don't even know how to put those moments into words. These little ones we have been waiting for, praying for, and loving from afar were suddenly in front of us. We played with the things in the room as well as the new gifts we brought them. A few different people took pictures and videos. It was incredible.
Leaving ICBF was a little more difficult but we made it. S & J were blessed to be in a great foster home for the past 3 years. We could not be more thankful. However our little ones miss them and are sad to leave them. Those are big emotions for little ones to work through.
After we got back to the guesthouse, everyone was struggling a bit and hungry! So J went in Mommy's Lille and S went in Mommy's and off to Titan Plaza. We got pollo and papas fritas for lunch. Then off for new shoes (neither had tennis shoes) and some things to play with. We decided we loved the escalators and rose those a few extra times before going home.
They were asleep by 6:30 and slept for a full 12 hours! (Mommy did not...waking often to check on them)
Please continue to pray for bonding as well as the adoption process itself.
Pray for Tyler. He has not been feeling well and the altitude is a struggle.
Pray for us to be able to help our little ones navigate big emotions.
Thank you. Y'all give us strength.
Ps - I have no idea why the font is 2 different sizes and I can't fix it
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
As we prepare
Tomorrow, we get to meet the little ones we have spent the past 3+ years preparing for. (Did you know we had our first meeting with our adoption agency the same month the twins were born?!) There are so many thoughts and emotions swirling inside me that I'm simply overwhelmed.
As we get ready for this long awaited day, we have a few requests. By Colombia adoption law we will not be permitted to share pictures of them for at least 2 more weeks in any public forum. We know you are excited to see them. We are excited to share them with you but we will be respecting these laws.
Please do not ask for details regarding their background. Their story is important but it is their story. If they want to share it with the world, we want that to be their choice. We are thankful for their birth mother, grandmother, and foster family and desire to honor them in any way we can.
Do not be surprised if we do not respond to texts, calls, messages, or social media tomorrow. We desire to be present in every way possible. We have waited a long time for this day.
Right now, returning home still feel as far away however, when we do please be understanding that we are still bonding. So not ask to hold our children. Do not hug or kids them. Do not offer them food. These are all very important pieces to establishing us as their providers and care takers. These bonds are essential.
And finally please Pray with us and for us. We have dreamt about this day for so long. We know God has gone before us and prepared the way for us.
"God sets the lonely in families." Psalm 68:6
As we get ready for this long awaited day, we have a few requests. By Colombia adoption law we will not be permitted to share pictures of them for at least 2 more weeks in any public forum. We know you are excited to see them. We are excited to share them with you but we will be respecting these laws.
Please do not ask for details regarding their background. Their story is important but it is their story. If they want to share it with the world, we want that to be their choice. We are thankful for their birth mother, grandmother, and foster family and desire to honor them in any way we can.
Do not be surprised if we do not respond to texts, calls, messages, or social media tomorrow. We desire to be present in every way possible. We have waited a long time for this day.
Right now, returning home still feel as far away however, when we do please be understanding that we are still bonding. So not ask to hold our children. Do not hug or kids them. Do not offer them food. These are all very important pieces to establishing us as their providers and care takers. These bonds are essential.
And finally please Pray with us and for us. We have dreamt about this day for so long. We know God has gone before us and prepared the way for us.
"God sets the lonely in families." Psalm 68:6
Day 5
We have been pretty real, raw, and honest so far. When I started writing our journey #1 it was more about me than you (sorry). Writing helps new process. #2 I promised that it wouldn't just be a highlight reel. If you were going to stick with us through this process, you were going to get everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I don't see any reason to stop that now. Day 5 had some of all 3. We woke up with hopes of our Meeting Day being scheduled for the afternoon. We thought only 1 more person had to confirm in order to make that happen. That was not the case. Our legal two Sara was very quickly at ICBF advocating for both us and our children.
Over the weekend a new secretary of the committee was put into office. As often happens in the US, when someone gets a new job, things were not immediately communicated. A few other people at the regional office needed to send things to or communicate with the SoC yet failed to do so.
This is where our legal rep shines. She really is incredible! She made over a dozen phone calls and spent many hours at ICBF fighting for us. She made sure all the right paperwork ended up in the hands of the right people. And when they tried to delay is another 9 days she refused citing what is in the best interest of our children.
Through all of this she communicated openly via text, voice message, and calls. She was straight forward and honest yet sensitive and compassionate. After dealing with all of this she also rearranged our hotel stays and scheduled our hired drivers. I'm my opinion she is basically super woman.
So Tuesday, she will take the twins along with their roster mother to the doctor in order to keep our timeline on track. Then Wednesday morning at 830 am local time we will be united with our children. As you can imagine, this momma is counting the minutes until then.
Tuesday our main priorities are rest and preparation for Wednesday. We are both a bit sunburnt and a bit worn out.
Pray for our physical well being.
Pray for our twins as they go to the doctor today.
Pray for understanding and bonding as we finally meet tomorrow.
Pray for their roster family. They have raised these little ones for 3 years. Tomorrow will be hard but we are so thankful for them.
Pray for our legal rep Sara. She is working so hard. I can not imagine doing this without her.
Finally thank you for all the extractive prayed thus far. We wouldn't be here without our awesome tribe!
Love, peace, and hope from Colombia.
I don't see any reason to stop that now. Day 5 had some of all 3. We woke up with hopes of our Meeting Day being scheduled for the afternoon. We thought only 1 more person had to confirm in order to make that happen. That was not the case. Our legal two Sara was very quickly at ICBF advocating for both us and our children.
Over the weekend a new secretary of the committee was put into office. As often happens in the US, when someone gets a new job, things were not immediately communicated. A few other people at the regional office needed to send things to or communicate with the SoC yet failed to do so.
This is where our legal rep shines. She really is incredible! She made over a dozen phone calls and spent many hours at ICBF fighting for us. She made sure all the right paperwork ended up in the hands of the right people. And when they tried to delay is another 9 days she refused citing what is in the best interest of our children.
Through all of this she communicated openly via text, voice message, and calls. She was straight forward and honest yet sensitive and compassionate. After dealing with all of this she also rearranged our hotel stays and scheduled our hired drivers. I'm my opinion she is basically super woman.
So Tuesday, she will take the twins along with their roster mother to the doctor in order to keep our timeline on track. Then Wednesday morning at 830 am local time we will be united with our children. As you can imagine, this momma is counting the minutes until then.
Tuesday our main priorities are rest and preparation for Wednesday. We are both a bit sunburnt and a bit worn out.
Pray for our physical well being.
Pray for our twins as they go to the doctor today.
Pray for understanding and bonding as we finally meet tomorrow.
Pray for their roster family. They have raised these little ones for 3 years. Tomorrow will be hard but we are so thankful for them.
Pray for our legal rep Sara. She is working so hard. I can not imagine doing this without her.
Finally thank you for all the extractive prayed thus far. We wouldn't be here without our awesome tribe!
Love, peace, and hope from Colombia.
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