Trust and Control

I never really understood why God chose us for adoption. Some of you are confused by this statement. You are thinking, "But Kerri, you've always cared about adoption and orphans."  And to some extent you are correct. God placed a passion and burden in my heart for orphans more than a decade ago. But it is almost easy to have passion. It is a completely different thing to act upon that passion.
So in the past I've taken small steps. I have promoted orphan care. I have supported organizations that care for orphans, help in foster care, and support adoption. I've stood beside and prayed for friends who brought Foster children into their home. I cheered for those who adopted.
Those are all good things right? But they weren't very hard. Those things came naturally out of passion. And they really didn't require sacrifice.

But then God said, "It is your turn." That was the natural progression of things though, right? I mean if you looked at my passion, the way I promoted orphan care, the families I supported, it just made sense to grow our family through adoption when the time came.
I totally agree, conceptually. It makes sense. But oh my goodness, adoption is BIG! It is hard. It is difficult. It is uncomfortable. It is beyond my control. So yes it makes sense, but wow it is going to turn my life upside down.
And it has already done just that. It has changed the way I view family. It has changed the way we handle our finances. It has changed how we look at racism. It has taken away my control...
See that is where I struggle. I like being in control. I like having a plan. I like knowing what is coming next. I like it even more when I have the power to change the plan to fit my desires, my timeline, my finances.
Adoption means I have no control. And I believe that is why God has led us to this place. He is saying, "I want you to trust me with EVERYTHING." Right now in my life, I have no choice but to trust. He holds my precious children in His arms. He guides our paperwork, our agency, all the hoops we have to jump through. He has written our children's story and guided us to one another.
And if I can trust God with these great, big, important things...my children, how many other things should I trust Him with. How many other areas of my life is He asking me to let Him have control?
So yes I am passionate about orphan care, but I'm also madly in love with Jesus. His plan is greater than my plan. So one piece at a time, I'm releasing control and choosing to trust.
Will you pray with us? Ask God to help us trust him. There are still some big obstacles before we bring our kids home. I'm excited to see God show off how great He is.